Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
