Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize