When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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