Betty ford says i'm here all night
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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