she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize