it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
