in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
