I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
