my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
