When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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