I didn't shave. On purpose
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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