he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We're too hungover to prance.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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