I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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