Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
