My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
