how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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