She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
