I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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