Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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