i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
