Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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