Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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