This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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