peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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