i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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