i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i out mim tonsoeep
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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