She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
