You're completely useless in the revolution.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
