I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
