I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
