You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
