We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
