Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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