He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
