yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
