Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
