I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We are two peas in an std pod
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
