thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
