Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
