This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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