It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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