margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
