He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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