you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
