I don't remember. Are we still dating?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
