you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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