we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize
