i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
they need to just BURY HIM!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
