Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
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