btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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