U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize