Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
