So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
