i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just blew my weed a kiss
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
