Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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