Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
