why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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