OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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