She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
