I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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