is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
