think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
