S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
