I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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